INSERT INTO `table` (value1, value2)
SELECT 'stuff for value1', 'stuff for value2' FROM `table`
WHERE NOT EXISTS (SELECT * FROM `table`
WHERE value1='stuff for value1' AND value2='stuff for value2')
LIMIT 1
INSERT INTO `table` (value1, value2)
SELECT 'stuff for value1', 'stuff for value2' FROM `table`
WHERE NOT EXISTS (SELECT * FROM `table`
WHERE value1='stuff for value1' AND value2='stuff for value2')
LIMIT 1